Kenapa depresi? Kerana bil telefon mencecah rm 584 tetapi rm 333 bukan saya yang guna.

Kenapa depresi? Sewa rumah pun dah naik.

Depresi lagi? Kerana banyak politik yang berlaku di sekeliling.

Yeap. Somebody actually have the guts to take stuff from my room through the window in the middle of the day.

Fortunately nothing is gone.

Sigh. Sudah lah gaji I RM145.40 sahaja. Anda ingin merompak saya? Rompak orang lain lah wei

Edit:

Quite traumatised with the experience and I am going to move out to somewhere that is not ground level. soon. as soon as this weekend i think.

Diriku mendapat kurang job setelah agency itu mendapat banyak model baru tetapi tidak ber-commitment.

But I am not a model.. I am a barista who model with her friend Jac in pastry area pretending to grind coffee, does that count?

yes.. Mataku sepet.


My big-ass left eye now can only be opened half cos there is a huge ass ketumbit (learnt this when I went to buy my daily consumption of dairy product) underneath my left upper lid.

This has caused me
- not going to work, (not that my name is in schedule though).
- comb my fringe down to my left side to cover my swollen eye.
- asking around for remedies to actually reduce the swell
(this include putting a little bit of your own pee, tying black string on middle finger, covering the swollen eye with a container full of belacan (shrimp paste).)
- putting hell lots of make up cos I now have single eye lid
- and I cant put on my pupil enlarging Angel Violet lenses. :(


And now I shall continue my day with spectacles and emo fringe covering my eye.

okay. previous post, i was talking about defloration (pecah dara). then now i am talking about naked? dang.. not just anyone man.. its one of the hottest babe in hollywood...


she got famous after having a cat fight with CB, Chris Brown, not the CB word in chinese lingo. Then now she is getting more famous about this. What this am I talking about right? You wanna know what? I was in denial ( and that explains my vocab right now) and keep clicking at the link and enlarging the picture just to check whether its her or just some stripper picture being tagged as her.

Help me to check, HERE

Lets do your girlfriend.

Okay. I cant say no. They've pushed me to.

Arent that sweet of you?

If anything happened to me, will you be happy to pitch in too?

There are few facts that you need to know about barista.

- barista is a name applied to a person, usually a coffeehouse employee, who prepares and serves espresso-based coffee drinks. The word is borrowed from Italian, where it has a wider meaning of "bartender". And i quote this from wikipedia, thank you.

- baristas are not stupid. They have to go through series of interview ( at least in Starbucks Malaysia) to at least become one. Not mentioning the 1 month period of learning to be one before being certified as part of the family.

- youngsters who are working in coffeehouses are not plain idiots. these youngster work so that they dont have to burn a bigger hole in their parents pocket. Pretty independent I would say.

- barista is just like you, a human! they have feelings too. Just because they got paid less (well, i just assume so because you are acting like you do) doesnt mean that you can throw your tantrum around them.

- baristas equipped themselves with more knowledge about coffee not because they have to, its because they want to. At least we can differentiate whether the espresso shot is being pulled perfectly. (why pull the shot you may ask, see.. you dont even know that)

- you pay extra bucks to enjoy the handcrafted beverages that we sincerely produce, a simple kopi susu and latte and caffe au lait have big difference.

- coffehouses nowadays provide wireless, if you want to show off to people that you are in a sophisticated-so-called-upperclass-that-middle-class-people-cant-enjoy-everyday place surfing the net while enjoying a free iced water of merely 6.85 cent coffee, might as well dont.

- baristas that you screamed at everyday, scratched their fingers. well most of them are doing their degrees in fields that might not have any connection to coffee at all, like computer science, even MEDICS!

-barista that is tendering your order, they bear the cost of 5 cents that you dont even want to pay.

- barista prepares your drink... remember.. they prepare them from scratches. if you get whatever shit i mean from this.

bottom line, treat others like you want others to treat you.

Why oh why am I not into politics?

Cause if I am, my traffics will be sky high by today.

But as much as I am not into politics. I somehow end up in one. Dang. Hate that~


Like one conversation that I had with this taxi driver.

Him: "Hm...tengok politik sekarang. dekat bas pun boleh nak letak muker dier."
Me (was looking at my phone, then look up): Politik? maner? muker saper?"
Him: "Tu he-mentioned-someone-who-is-a-minister-for-agriculture-or-something."
Me: "OWH. tak kenal la bang."
Him: "Tak kenal? Awak study lagi kan? Umur berapa?"
Me : "HAH? a'ar. 21" (starting to get irritated)
Him : "ha.. Kan adik stadi lagi. adik kena tau pasal semua ni. Kenal tak semua menteri yang ader?"
Me : "tak. I mean, kenal la. Tapi tak sumer kot."
Him: "adik tau tak sekarang politik kat malaysia ni tengah panas. sumer department skrang macam dah tukar tukar orang tau."
Me :" OWH.. bang, berhenti kat depan tu yer."


Yes. I went down from the cab before he starts all the preaching.

And guess what? I wasnt even home, so I have to take another taxi.

How I love taking buses. Just get on, switch on the mp3 player on the phone, then just keep shits to your self.


Talking bout public transport. Sometimes I just wonders how some people can actually go hysteric on the phone while taking the LRT. They just scream and shout like nobody's business. But heck, they got famous in youtube.com! came to think bout it, maybe it was just some drama shooting that is being conducted by magical creatures with invisible camera and all.



kita semua faham bahasa melayu kan? jadi, cik Aierra tak perlu translate(erm...tukar bahasa ke apa entah dalam melayu perkataan ni.)

Aku sentap kerana kamu!!!







Then, I sesentap because my SS, the founder of fucked up bukan sentap, was transferred to another branch. Haiz. We didnt have a proper goodbye and everything.

No one is going to calm me down when I feel like crying.

No one is going to give me a wake up call if I work the morning shift.

No one is going be sentap together with me if there is a customer laha~~

No one is going to force me to go break.

No one is going to call me names that only founder-fucked-up-bukan-sentap calls me.

Haiz.. You are going back to college right babe? Raffles kan? Best... Nanti you jadi designer, I jadi model buruk you. Like before and after thing la. Then I nak diet lah.. I nak makan tomato jer hari hari... But tomato kaler merah.. eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww.

Cacing pita adalah sejenis cacing yang menjadikan usus manusia sebagai tempat habitat yang dianggap sebagai syurga yang penuh dengan nutrien yang mencukupi. Usus pula adalah sebahagian daripada organ manusia yang burfungsi untuk memproses nutrien(makanan) menjadi bahan buangan (najis, taik, tahi, shit). Cacing pita mempunyai taktik ibarat gunting dalam lipatan. Kehadiran cacing pita selalunya hanya dapat dikesan apabila seseorang itu makan dalam jumlah yang sangat banyak (yang mungkin dipengaruhi hantu api yang tidak pernah merasa kenyang) tetapi mempunyai badan yang kurus tetapi buncit.

Manakala dalam bahasa Inggeris pula, PITA (bukan PETA) bermaksud pain in the ass. PITA ini pula membawa makna sama seperti gunting dalam lipatan.

There is one colleague of mine. HE, yes, a he is actually a PITA and a boot licker. He is eye-ing the managerial position in our place. So, basically he is really high on ass kissing mode. He talks bad about other "higher rankers". Well, I dont know what is his motive of doing so thought.

I mean, everyone is getting paid according to their responsibilities. If I hire you as a cleaner, I will be expecting you to do the cleaning, not the gardening. If you are getting the salary of an assistant manager, you are required to do your job as an assistant manager. I totally get it if you are not doing a barista's job. Even the employer are not willing to pay you the salary of two jobs right. If they do, I think you will be getting like what? 4k per month. I would love to take that job.

But some people just wont get it, they bitch about these higher rankers because they are not sweating their ass off doing extra jobs than they are required to. Why? Jealousy, I guess. And just the plain pleasure of watching the higher rankers in a deepshit relationship with each other. To create a drama that will create and opening for him to join in and offers help.

Isnt that smart? Ruining the hierarchy and making everyone fall.


Hey, I saw right through you. You choose to talk to those who are actually beneficial to you. You twist your stories to those who are in good relationship with the higher rankers. You tried so hard to be in a good relationship with them but you bitch about them behind their back. You rebel in your own way but when get caught, you point your fingers to others.


Whatever okay?! Im going to make sure you will never get whatever you ever wanted.



P/S: This sounds like full of anger and hatred. this was draft on saturday. Last saturday.

Lets talk about the founder of "Fucked Up Bukan Sentap".

Okay, I had my 50 minits break and now I have around 15 mins to talk about the founder of the phrase, the history, the significance that the founder hold and so on.

Fucked-up-bukan-sentap has been discovered on the 27 March 2009 which is just recently. Coincidentally, it's my sister's birthday. There had been shite going on around us. So, we had this terms that we kept on saying which is "sentap", basically it means like fucked up in the "KL" lingo. Then, one day, this gorgeous(gorgeous ke??) gentleman came up to me and keep complaining about the stuff that is happening around which is PNC.. I cant really say it out here. Later got people say I am talking behind their back lor.

The founder is baby Alex Christina Jai. This is the stage name of this LGBT community member. He is good looking with words can be filled with sarcasm if he doesnt like that particular situation. "Ko ni memang macam laha kan?" that's his catcha phrase before this until we discovered ( yeah, I was the co founder and I want take a lil' bit of the credit given... whahaha...) fucked up bukan sentap.

He is my SS also in the place that I've worked so hard to earn 4.79 per hour with slightly higher OT rate. ( Yeah.. I like to talk about my SS here.. So what... Its my blog, I can talk about anything I want right? I can curse you if I want to.. Wahahaha...) The first day he came to work, he is very macho and very man-like. Well, thats the first day.. Came the next day, his true self just keep showing. We've already known a lil bit about him, about his sexuality and everything.

After awhile, I kinda got close to him and just basically share everything with him. Well, other colleague of ours may think that we are hating each other as we call each other byotch and p**i. But we are nothing but cool with that.

Aren't we the bestest byotch eva? :P

Treat others as you want others to treat you.

If you want others to respect you, learn to respect. If you want others to appreciate you, start to appreciate. If you don’t want people to badmouth you, stop doing so.Stop being a racist when you are staying in a multiracial community!

What ever goes around, it will for sure, damn sure will come back around.

Have you ever done something so important for someone else just because you don’t want that shite to get worse? But then, after you sacrificed your time and energy doing so, some bloody asshole just come up to you and questions you on your motive of doing so. To make it worse, you are literally being beaten up emotionally that you’d rather turn back time and undone everything to avoid the whole drama.

I would’ve turn back time and seriously just do the so-called-right-thing to avoid the nonsense today.

Ah. Come on. Drama is everywhere. Can’t you just stop and listen to what people say for goodness sake. Everyone has their right as a human, to voice out their opinion. O my gosh, getting bash for having own opinion? Get bash for someone else’s fault? Na-uh. That’s not the right way to treat a human being!

Stop playing football with all the problems. Passing it around like it’s a time bomb. Well, since you are the one who sets the time, you basically know when it will explode. I pity those who end up in that blast. To make it worse, when it blast, pieces of anger and dust of fury is hitting on everyone else, making everyone’s day like a black parade.

Is that what you want? Is that what you really want? People around you filled with hatred whenever you are around.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

On a slightly different note, I learn a new catcha-phrase. "Fucked up bukan Sentap!" See how its coincidentally rhymes? Today is not a good mood to do a drama on set when there is a lot of drama happening and I am not the main character. So,WHATEVA~~~~ bitch

Hesssssh. sentap~~~~

eyh. Fucked up tau bukan sentap!

Have you ever being called paranoid?

Yeah I do. Well, lets just say, I am paranoid bout people cheating behind my back and stuff. And my pet peeves is not knowing. I dont like not knowing. I dont like knowing stuff that I am supposed to be the one to know first from someone who hold no significant in that particular situation.

You know what? When I feel something is weird, my instinct kicks in so strong. But I am a pleaser. I will pretend to not know the truth until I cant even take it anymore where I will explode, burning everyone in tongues of angered-flame.

Why cant everyone just say out what they are doing? why do they have to hide in bushes of lies that is so transparent? dont they realise that this will only hurt more than console.

argh.. you hate questioning you say.. what if you found out that I lied? you bombard me with question. see.. what I am feeling maybe, just maybe is the same as the one you felt before!!!

I am so angry but I cant blurt out anything. I am tired of fighting. Just so tired. But then, if I ever hold this grudge in me any longer. I will get physical. I maybe small but when adrenaline rush, nothing can stop me!!!

Just tell me okay. Tell me why do you do it. You know the stories clash with each other. How can you be happy when your family is being bashed? How can you walk around being in denial?

Lets just ignore. Ignore everything. Pretend everything is fine. Kiss and make up.

I was just surfing the net while facebook-ing when I actually came across this quiz about personality. It was quite long. I forgot how many question that I went through. It was harder than our mission statement. So this is my result.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Moderate
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Low
Antisocial Disorder:	Low
Borderline Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Disorder:	Low
Dependent Disorder:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

To me, this is quite accurate (it took me merely ten seconds to spell accurate as it is 3.33 in the morning when i drafted this.)

Okay, speaking of 3.33. This reminds me of the Crime Scene Investigation series that I was so loyal to, when I was back home with astro shoved in my face. The investigator was actually being followed or something. So every morning at 3.33 am, he will get a call that will last for a minute until 3.34 am.

Can somebody tell me what actually happened there?

What makes you tick?

What is your main motive in getting something done?

Lately, I've been experiencing some stuff. Well, some are not mine, so I can’t really blog bout it. I am a perfectionist, I get my job done, but I will take all my sweet time in getting it done. I’ve been criticised on the speed of doing it, I was once labeled a tortoise ( try to pronounce it as thor-tho-ice). It hurts but I took it as something to improve myself.

Does ego contributes as one of the motivation in doing something?

Do you actually do something, only someone complains bout it? Fear of letting someone who is in your circle know bout you, the real you that you hide underneath those thick skin. The ‘you’ that doesn’t do laundry, and expect somebody else to do it for you, or be with someone who would actually do it for you, for FREE! The ‘you’ that everyone hates so much that you need to have a split personality in front of every single person.

Do you really want to portray an image that is out of your own league? Trying so hard to create a lovable image, is that you?

As much as I want to deny it, but I do actually care bout what people think bout me. Sometimes I over-analysed or over think bout what I wear, how I carry myself, well basically everything. I hate to think that I actually let everyone decides what am I going to eat and stuff, or how my body supposed to look like, to shape like.

P/S: Concentrated of different feelings and emotions. Mind this entry as it looks like just a string of words that doesn’t make sense.

I am trying to put my emotions ( anger, sadness, joy and everything that you can think of) in words. Solid words with strong meaning. The way I am being treated today (well, part of it) is Un-Acceptable for me.

If I want to make a hooh-hah with this "thing" I'm facing, I am so going to win, BIG time. I am serious, But still, what am I thinking of.. I am just SOME employee in SOME place. Well, it wasn't just some place for me before this until some shit happens to me. What shit you may say, herm.... back stabbed? Checked. Hurt? Checked. Back stabbed? check. Yeah. I got back stabbed one too many times. I may sounds like I am twisting someone's word, believe me, its not. Its my way of procrastinating this situation.

I really really like the quote, "Treat others as you want others to treat you." Somebody backfired me by saying, what I want from others might not be the same as what others want from me. Lets make it simple for some noobs in life ( I am not a GURU or something but common sense is still in check), do you want me to respect you? Do you want to have a mutual understanding? Give and take you will say. Sayang, that is treat others as you want to be treated. People give, you take. You give, people take la. Or, you would rather a situation like er, You give, I take joyfully. You need a favor? Go f#%k yourself. Do you prefer like that? Well, if you do, tell me straight to my face. I will give you a special treatment of those.

Oh yeah, and one more, "what goes around comes back around".. No, its not the Justin Timberlake song with Scarlett Johansson in it. That's not it. Someone told me before that the quote is very famous in Buddha teaching. To think about it, its really true right? You treat me like shite, someday someone will treat you like shite. That's the only thing that is keeping me strong right now. The thought of you kena the same thing like what you did to me, thats satisfy me. Sounds like a sick fetish right?

Sigh. I really want to let out everything but I have to filter some PNC information. Scared of the fact that I am going to be sued or something. Or worst. Sigh Sigh Sigh...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *


Lets talk bout something happy. I've had enough of the sarcasm and bullshites today ( only for today, tomorrow is another day to be procrastinated.)

My dad bought me a ring. Yes a ring to tie me down. At least that is what my mom says. I dont get the meaning yet.. But herm.... its nice right? with the bling. Okay, to be frank. I am not a ring person. So not. I am more to a necklace and bracelet person. I am a very clumsy. So, with a ring, I feel like my movement is being limited to just a few things. I don't know. Maybe I am just so not to used to it.

Single ladies,put a ring on it. I am not single but I am definitely going to keep this ring. Hey.. My dad bought it for me 'kay. I've lost the pendant that my mom bought for me when I entered my college. I am scared to tell her thought, I love that thing very much. I ,lost it during one of the hectic night outs that I've had. Yeah.. Kinda regret it



*************

Soon, I will tell you more on all those quotes that keeps me alive till the day that I die.