On the last Saturday, I went back to my kampong (village) in Lundu. A small district next to Bau. It took around two hours to reach there by land on an average speed of 100km/h.

I did nothing much in kampong. On Sunday, woke up at eight. I then had my breakfast. Around eleven I started to prepare lunch. But my parents only come back from our ‘kebun’ at around 12.30. I then went along to our kebun to pluck lada… not sure what is it called,. Pepper if I’m not mistaken. As soon as we went back from kebun, I jumped into the so called pool to relax. The water is freezing cold. It’s from the mountain anywhere. Felt feverish after the ‘swim’. My brother threw something at my face… I’m what was it, but it scratches my lovely face. It’s not that obvious but you can see it if you look closely.

My little cousin of mine is not very fond of me though. Last time when I was in kampong, he tried to shove my brother into the fish pond. I was so pissed that I just yank him up and say that I was going to toss him into the fish pond. He was scared of me ever since.

Around 6, went back to Kuching, reached Kuching around 8. Tiring journey…

I will write some more next time.

Breaking down
Tears upon my cheek
For what I’ve done

What have I done?
What am I’m doing
With my only
Chance of living

I wished I could turn back time
To sort things out
To live a better life
To presage others bout their choices
I would never have the alternative
To go back in the precedent

But I have my second chance
To make a wiser verdict
To make this world a better place

I have sinned against Him.
Will He ever look at me again?

Shadow of my life slithering over me
I’m suffocating
This is too much
I got to be strong
For the love of my life
For the sake of my own verve
I’m not going to let my shadow triumph the conquest
I’m tough
I can do this
I won’t let my past take control of me
My past is just a speck in my life
I can’t pretend its not there
But I can make use of that fragment
To begin the journey of another

You can do that too
Take a look of your life
Make a change

It’s been a hard life for me
And I’m feeling so damn low
Have you ever been so low?
Even when you’re on a high place
And when all the people look down at you
And when your entertainment tube is filled
With images of sufferings and sadness
And when you are actually have tears on your cheeks
When you thought you are smiling
I think this is the beginning of your fall
The beginning of the end
The fall from grace
It gives you a new perspective on life
And of course, death
In time like this your life flashes in front of you they say...
This is going to be a short show
About the love you get
About the love you give
And about the love of your life
On second thought
Taking your own life won’t solve anything
You’re just delaying your time to deal with it
Life goes on...
Even when you think that you have no life
That’s life
Have faith
You will be salvaged